maslanystan:

gf: come over

me: i cant im in the middle of a multi-national human cloning conspiracy spanning decades upon decades of illegal monitoring and probing while also searching for my missing daughter who i was never there for due to my difficult livelihood which was partly a result of my abusive relationship with a man that led me to fake my own death in order to make a quick buck and get out of said multi-national human cloning conspiracy

gf: my parents aren’t home

me:

 image

(via jewvian)